What better example is there of leading the game called life than being a professional Barça footballer? The answer is easy - there isn’t. Just look at the lives they lead: they’re famous, they’re fit as fiddles, they’re loaded to the hilt, and thousands of people chant their names at the Camp Nou (which has got to be good for the soul). Plus, most importantly, they’re positive people.

At the time of writing Barça had won 16 consecutive games thereby bypassing the record number of straight wins for a professional Spanish team, a record previously held by bitter rivals Real Madrid, in La Liga, La Copa del Rey and the Champions League. If only we had so many victories in our personal lives. We too would be on top of the world, tap dancing in golden football boots.

Then there are the players. They live like the ancient Romans did, with an emphasis on a high level of athletic ability, their earnings from conquering and sacking their opposition and higher education: players at the Camp Nou learn Spanish or Catalan, and occasionally both.

Take Ronaldinho for example. He has a contract until 2010 when most other foreigners in Barcelona are scraping along on 6 month renewals. And he even has a mini-me on the Playstation! Imagine if we all had this mini-me version of ourselves. It could well be the solution to low self-esteem. Seriously though, he is a great role model for us all. He’s so positive and open and his smile is so very sincere. He’s famous but he’s not of Salsa Rosa material. He’s just a plain old nice guy.

But then if we look at alter-ego David Beckham who plays for Real Madrid, he’s the perfect example of how we shouldn’t be living our lives. Okay, so he earns over 25 million euros a year, he’s a fashion model, ahem, and a great role model for kids as long as he doesn’t open his mouth. But then you’ve just got to look at his perfume commercials on TV. Especially when he gives that creaking smile and the world collapses behind him. My friend’s young child saw that ad and ran into her bedroom and didn’t dare come out for a while. Then again he’s part of a nuclear family which is always on the brink of a meltdown and he’s married to the faded super star Victoria Adams (who has had a series of meltdowns).

If you think about it, the greatest goal for a Barça footballer is just that - to score goals. They want to play well, to win matches and to win titles. They exemplify the importance of setting goals and achieving them by putting the real things in the back of the net. We all need this in life: goals. It’s what makes life worth the battle: by setting oneself challenges, mounting them and accomplishing them. We would be lost without them. We would essentially be footballers, whose position is left-right-out. We’d never leave the bench.

The structure of the game itself is a great example of how we should live our lives. The game consists of two 45 minute periods with a break in the middle. This well earned rest gives the players an opportunity to reflect upon the game thus far. They receive professional advice from Frank Rijkaard and his team as to what they should and shouldn’t do and how they should and shouldn’t go about doing it. Don’t we all need this? A rest in the middle of those games in life would be revitalising. And if we had a personal coach to help us through those tough times we would be much better off. Just imagine it: “What are you doing Simpson? You’ve got this big meeting on Wednesday and you haven’t even prepared for it. Here’s what you’ve got to do …”

And then, if the game is a draw, which is hardly the case nowadays for Barça, the players then go into extra time and then penalty shoot-outs if need be. Wouldn’t it be better if we had the option of penalty shoot-outs as a way to win business deals or make choices that seem impossible to make? “It’s down to you and the other guy over there. If you win we’ll give you the job …”

And then there are injuries. If the player is hurt he simply flutters his hand around like he’s holding up a white flag and someone comes running over to him with stretcher in tow - and all the world feels sorry for him. Wouldn’t life be a lot easier if we felt hurt by someone or something if we could simply put our hand up, flap it about and have a psychologist come running over to talk us through the problem? “That guy’s looking at me funny. Go and sort it out will you …”

And if you’re injury is just too much then you have to go through a rigorous schedule of massage and physiotherapy. All the while getting paid mind you, just like Madrid ’s overweight and overpaid Ronaldo does all too frequently.

Barça footballers get all of the training possible to remain positive. Just watch Barça when they are training. They are playing around with each other, joking and basically having a great time. Wouldn’t it be great if all of our jobs were like that? They don’t only have physical trainers but also sports psychologists who, when times are tough, point them in the right direction. Wouldn’t we be better off if all of us had this support network to call upon?

And just look at the typical Barça player’s physique: they are pure athletes. They run around the park for 90 minutes or more, running circles around every other team in the league. And they make it look effortless. They are trim and prim athletic machines.

Now, we all know that to be healthy human beings we need a combination of eating the right foods, exercising and keeping ourselves occupied. And that a healthy body is one way of maintaining a healthy mind. If we think along these lines shouldn’t we all at least try to train like Barça’s footballers? Wouldn’t the declining birth rate problem be completely solved? Wouldn’t it make the general population happier if we were all cut like these guys? In short, yes, yes and yes.

And after all is said and done as a Barça footballer who has done well for himself, they get to retire at say 30 or 35 as a rich person who has the option of kicking back for the rest of their life or maybe dabble in coaching or commentating. What a better place the world would be if we could all retire as 35-year-olds with bulging Swiss bank accounts and the best years of our lives ahead of us!

Of course this is all a parody of the game of life and the game played by Barça. But if we take something from the real dream team then it should be that the act of scoring goals for Barça is as important as setting goals and achieving them in real life. Without them we would run the risk of being the exact opposite of footballers: hooligans who spill beer all over the place and make a general nuisance of themselves.